What People See
There are the things people see: You managing the kids while your spouse works odd hours. You showing up to family events alone and you smiling even when you’re tired or worried.
But then, there’s everything they don’t see.
The Thoughts They Don’t Hear
The constant calculating in your head:
“Can I plan this if his schedule changes?”
“Should I even tell people what he does?”
“Is it safe to post this online?”
There’s always a background hum of awareness. And it doesn’t turn off just because we want it to.
The Invisible Weight
Being a law enforcement spouse means carrying a quiet mental load most people don’t understand.
You’re the one holding down the fort, keeping the family on track, and managing your own anxiety all while still being the encourager, the scheduler, the “it’s going to be okay” voice.
It is not just emotional: it’s mental.
It’s doing the work of two when one parent is working holidays, weekends, or late into the night.
It’s remembering everything:
What your husband’s court schedule looks like, which kid needs what that week.
Maybe he’s not allowed to talk about what happened on shift, but it’s clearly weighing on him.
The Quiet Work of Holding it All Together
It’s praying over your home when the patrol car pulls out of the driveway.
It’s sensing when something’s off and choosing grace instead of frustration.
We aren’t just spouses. We’re silent protectors too.
The behind-the-scenes strength that keeps everything moving. The peace within the home.
You’re Not Meant to Carry It Alone
But if no one has told you lately, you don’t have to carry it all alone.
You don’t need to be superhuman.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
-Matthew 11:28
Even if no one else sees the weight you carry, Jesus does.
And He won’t let you carry it without Him.
You were never meant to support the badge and the burden on your own.
✍️ Journal Prompt
What are some of the invisible tasks or worries I carry on a regular basis that others may not see? When do I feel the mental load the heaviest and what can help lighten that burden?
Missed the other posts on this series? Here is Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
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