This life comes with a cost. Not just physically or emotionally but relationally.
Shift work, stress, the weight of the job…
It can pull you apart if you’re not intentional about pulling closer.
There are days when the only thing we’ve exchanged is a quick hug, a dinner plate left on the counter, and a “be safe.” Sometimes communication feels impossible: he’s emotionally drained and I’m exhausted in my own way. We pass each other in the hallway like teammates, but not always like husband and wife.
The Impact on Both of You
If you’ve felt that distance, you’re not alone.
The job may be his but the impact belongs to both of you.
So how do we love through it?
How do we strengthen a marriage in the midst of unpredictable shifts, communication breakdowns, and emotional fatigue?
We Keep Choosing Each Other.
Even when it’s hard & we’re tired.
Even when connection requires more effort than it used to.
We lean into small, sacred things:
A shared cup of coffee before (or after) shift.
A funny text message just to lighten the day.
Asking, “How can I love you well this week?”
We Don’t Let Silence Win.
There are days when he doesn’t want to talk and I’ve learned that’s okay.
But I still stay present. I let him know I’m here.
And when the words finally come, I listen without trying to fix.
Marriage in law enforcement life isn’t about perfection.
It’s about persistence.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
— Ephesians 4:2
Because humility, gentleness, and patience are exactly what it takes when you’re loving someone who carries heavy things.
We Remember We’re On the Same Team.
Stress can make us forget that.
But when we fight, it’s not me vs. him: It’s us vs. the problem.
We pray together, even if it’s quick.
We speak life over one another when the world feels loud.
We hold space for hard days and we celebrate the small wins.
If This Season Feels Distant, Take Heart.
You are not failing.
You are learning to love in a season that requires deeper grace and stronger roots.
God is in your marriage, even in the gaps.
Especially in the gaps.
He sees your efforts.
He hears your prayers.
And He’s faithful to strengthen the foundation you’re building, one quiet act of love at a time.
✍️ Journal Prompt
- What are some practical ways I can love my spouse this week, even in a busy or distant season?
- When have we felt most connected in our marriage? What helped us get there?
- What communication challenges are we currently facing, and what’s one small step we could take to improve it?
- How can I invite God into the places in our relationship that feel strained, tired, or tender?
Hope you enjoyed this series and it helped you though this life behind the badge.
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five
If you’re looking for a book to read for help in understanding the emotional side of law enforcement, we cannot recommend this book enough: Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement: A Guide for Officers and Their Families. We, my husband and I, have both read it and it helped me see his side of things and it helped him process what he goes through better. Once you buy it and read it, pass it on. It’s what we did.
This post contains affiliate links, meaning that if you choose to click through and make a purchase, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
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