Post 2: When Loneliness Hits
Loneliness in law enforcement life doesn’t always come from being physically alone. Sometimes, it’s about living in a rhythm the rest of the world doesn’t understand, one shaped by rotating schedules, unit changes, and a reality where your spouse is often mentally and emotionally consumed by work.
When my husband started his career, he worked night shifts for years. Those were hard: solo parenting long nights, watching the front door, praying for safe returns. Eventually, we transitioned to days, then to the school resource officer unit, and now we’re adapting once again to a summer trial in a new division with a brand new schedule. The hours keep changing, and so does our life around it.
The loneliness, though? It has followed through every season.
It’s the kind of quiet ache you feel when you want to share something, good or hard, but can’t, because he’s at work or mentally drained. It’s learning to do the bedtime routines, the doctor’s appointments, the discipline, and even the family celebrations… alone.
It’s also the emotional loneliness of not being understood. We’ve had to let go of friends and even distance from some family. Not everyone accepts the badge. And sometimes, it’s just easier not to explain or try to get them to understand your feelings.
But God!
But even in the loneliest moments, I’ve found that God meets me in the silence. He doesn’t need explanations or perfectly crafted prayers. He simply stays.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
—Psalm 34:18
In the quiet, I’ve found healing. I’ve also found purpose: through routines, through reading, through writing, and through connecting with others who do understand.
To the spouse reading this feeling forgotten or unseen: you matter. Even if no one says it. Even if you don’t feel it. God sees your strength. He honors your tears. And you are not walking this road alone.
Journal Prompt:
When was the last time you felt truly understood? What small rhythms help you feel grounded in the middle of your spouse’s shifting schedule?
Here is Post One of the Behind The Badge series.
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