Living with Grief: Learning to Carry the Weight

Grief is not something we move past. It is something we learn to carry. The weight shifts over time, sometimes feeling light enough to forget for a moment, and other times pressing down so heavily that it takes our breath away.

No one teaches us how to live with grief. It arrives uninvited, reshaping our world and forcing us to navigate life without someone who once anchored us. The truth is, grief doesn’t follow a schedule. It doesn’t fade in a straight line. It weaves itself into the fabric of our days, appearing in unexpected moments: a song, a scent, a familiar laugh in a crowd that makes our heart leap before reality settles in.

The Myths of Moving On

Society often pressures us to “move on” or “find closure,” but grief isn’t something that needs to be closed. It is love that has lost its physical form, but not its presence. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. Instead, it means learning to live alongside the loss, to let the pain and love coexist.

Finding Ways to Cope

While grief is deeply personal, some things can help ease its weight:

• Allow Yourself to Feel – Suppressing grief doesn’t make it go away; it only makes it heavier. Give yourself permission to feel sadness, anger, guilt, or even joy without judgment.
• Create Rituals – Light a candle, visit a special place, or keep a journal to stay connected with your loved one. These rituals can provide comfort and a sense of continuity.
• Seek Support – Whether through friends, family, or a grief support group, sharing your feelings can be healing. You don’t have to carry grief alone.
• Honor Their Memory – Find ways to celebrate their life. Share their stories, cook their favorite meal, or engage in an activity they loved. Keeping their spirit alive can be a source of comfort.
• Be Patient with Yourself – There is no timeline for grief. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. Healing isn’t about reaching an endpoint; it’s about finding a way forward.

Grief as a Companion

Over time, grief doesn’t necessarily shrink, but we grow around it. We learn to carry it with more strength, with more understanding. It becomes a companion, a quiet reminder of the love we were lucky enough to experience.

If you are grieving, know this: You are not alone. Your loss matters, your pain is real, and your love endures. The weight of grief may never fully lift, but with time, you will find ways to carry it—and even moments where it feels a little lighter.

Here are my thoughts on navigating our faith when it’s the hardest.